You know that saying "anything that can go wrong...will go wrong?"Well it's especially true when you are trying to do something big for God. On Sunday I am getting baptised and ever since my girlfriend and I made this decision, things have been getting really crazy.
This week my car broke. Not surprising on anything...this car always used to always break down ( many of you may remember how the car radio would stay on even when the car was off and it would drain the battery and so the car would die all the time). But on the same day my computer also broke and my toilet overflowed. Now this may seem like awful luck or coincidence but I know better. You see the devil is angry! He is angry that I am trying to make the huge commitment to God to try and follow him with all my heart, no matter what that means. But I will not give in to these distractions. My friend told me not to be surprised if I get sick on baptism day or something happens. All of this was a little overwhelming, not to add my finances don't make any sense right now.
But then I started thinking about it and I know in the end God will win this battle. So why fret? Keep that in mind whenever your circumstances are overwhelming, know that if God wants something to be done it will be and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. Smile! God is always by your side.
Also something I learned this week is that it's not always the fun road or even a road full of friends when following God completely. People look at you as if you're strange and can't seem to get why. But I promise the road is worth it! God has showed me time and time again, that when I give up everything and follow him, he will provide....not my wants but my needs. And what are your needs really? Really all you need to survive is God. I know that seems like the typical response but it's really true.
I have a reason for going on that tangent. I have decided to leave the radio show I am working on. Are you paying attention now? lol. The host of the radio show will constantly say things about other " Gods" and how they all are the same whether it be Buddha or what not. Well I just don't believe that at all. I really believe the only way to God is through Jesus Christ. ( My sister thinks I am crazy for this and actually started yelling at me about how all God's are the same....this was so shocking because I never really heard her talk about religion before...once again under attack). I cannot put my name on something with such mixed messages, as it can confuse an audience, so at the end of the month I am stepping down as the Associate Producer of the Show. I love working on the show and I love the host of the show but I know I am not being true to Jesus by trying to sell this show.
So now what?
Well right now there are a few things that appear to be options. One of my friends may move in with me for a little bit, which would help pay bills. I am still babysitting. I am always awaiting the check for the promotional modeling gig I did last weekend. I still might get offered the Station Manager Job in Detroit and then I could program my own station. I might get to work on a full length Christian feature film in Tampa ( I can't really say more then that right now). Or Maybe I will move to Jacksonville and live with my Grandma and work on her book with her and save up money. I don't know. But I do know one thing....God will be with me wherever I go and whatever happens next is going to be an exciting chapter in my life.
I feel like God is letting me do all the things I want to do, somethings maybe not in the extent that I would want to do them, but even if I got to be a grip on this big feature film, that would still be cool. This week ( thanks to a great friend) I got to sing in a choir. Now I haven't sang in a choir since the 9th grade . I was told too many times my voice wasn't good enough and gave up. I even had an ex boyfriend who used to turn up the radio when I sang, so he wouldn't have to hear my voice. I was so nervous when I went into sing, I was visibly shaking. But the people there were by far some of the nicest people I have ever met and even though I am not a fan of the music, I want to go back just to be around them. I hope I am like this. I pray that when people are around me, they will see the JOY of knowing Jesus and want to know what is different about me. Though there are hard times for everyone, rejoice my friends because God is with you and you can do all things through him. Don't let people tell you, you can't do something that God sent you to do. Imagine what people must of thought about Noah when he was trying to build the ark?
Stay true to your morals and believes and God and he will bless you time and time again.
I can't wait to see what will be happening in this next chapter of my life but I know it is going to be amazing! Stay Tuned for an after the baptism post. God Bless
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